21 March 2010

Dear Barack,

Please stop emailing me everyday. George Bush didn't email me. In fact, I don't even think George Bush knew what "the email" was. I mean, it's cool that you put my name in the subject line, as if we're old friends, and you're just dropping me a quick hello... but I don't want to donate $5 to Organizing for America. Last time I did that I got put on this really annoying mailing list, which I can't seem to unsubscribe from. I mean, you did send me that cool t-shirt... but it was XXL, and navy blue really isn't my color... so yeah...

Anyway, please lay off the mass emails, but feel free to shoot me a text when I can finally start going to a real hospital when I'm sick. WebMD always tells me I have tuberculosis, but I quit my job at the mill, so that can't be right.


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